Many people have questions about Custos, and we have 3 different FAQ pages, one for feminists/sceptics, (this one), one for general questions and one FAQ page for those who are considering joining Custos.
“I am a feminist and I am highly offended by your website!”
We are genuinely sorry to hear that.
It is not our intention to offend or hurt anyone. If you found something on our website offensive we are sorry, and we hope that you will accept our apology.
We don’t agree with the direction of today’s feminist Western societies, but we accept that this is the way the world is moving right now.
We understand that our beliefs and values differ from most of today’s mainstream Western society, and it is to eliminate conflict and arguments with people like yourself that we have decided to “step out” and create our own intentional community.
The Custos community consists of likeminded men and women and everyone here is involved because they WANT to be, and because they share our values and beliefs.
“I don’t believe that ANY woman would voluntarily submit to a man! You must be involved in some form of human trafficking or forcing these women to join your cult!”
We understand that when you feel passionately about something it can be hard to see how other people may have a completely different viewpoint. Especially when you feel that you are arguing for what you believe are “basic humans rights”, and you feel that every sane woman on earth should feel the way you do.
However, if you stop and think about just how diverse this world and the people within it really are, maybe you can understand that there are in fact many women who wish for a man to be in charge of aspects of their lives?
There are many reasons why a woman would want a Dominant Man to “lead and guide her”, but one thing we can say for sure; in Custos none of those reasons have anything to do with force, abuse or any form of coercion or manipulation.
For you, a “strong feminist woman” who trust more in your “fellow sisters” than you would in any man, it may be hard to believe, but some women feel anxious, scared and unhappy when they don’t have a Man leading them and helping them make decisions in life.
This is the reality for many women, and they are often the kind of women who gravitate towards Custos.
(We will answer the “cult part” of your comment in another question.)
“If a woman feels the need for a Man to “lead” or “guide” her in life it is either because of previous abuse, or because they need further empowerment and re-education away from the Patriarchal society we live in!”
This is simply not true, at least in terms of your claim of previous abuse.
We are all affected by our experiences in life, but most of the women who wish to join Custos come from normal loving families, and these women have not experienced more abuse than the average woman. In fact, we believe that women who lean towards aggressive militant feminism are more likely to have suffered abuse in the past, which is why they don’t trust (and often hate) men.
In regards to “re-educating” women who don’t share your feminist view, we think this is fascists and intolerant, and we obviously don’t agree with it. We would urge you to let all people live their one and only life here on earth as they please.
“You are obviously using poor women who are in vulnerable situations and can’t afford to live a normal life, and manipulate them so you can control their lives and abuse them sexually!”
The entire Custos philosophy and belief system is based on consensual voluntary agreements between all people, including women.
No one in Custos is being abused, manipulated tricked, coerced or in any other way “forced” to do anything they don’t want to, with or for anyone else.
All women, (and men!) in Custos are obviously free to leave at any point, should they wish to do so, and whether a submissive woman wishes to leave our community forever, or just leave a Man who they are currently in a relationship with, we have a team of women who will help them do so if they need it.
Should a woman wish to return to their home country from Custos we even organize and pay for their flights and travel back home, and make sure they leave with enough money to get by after they return home.
Please also note that “The Custos Women’s Council” meet privately at least once per month with every woman in Custos in order to make sure that they are happy and feel safe in every way.
Abuse is a real problem in most countries in the world. Here in Custos we try to do our share by donating part of our income to shelters for victims of abuse.
We take all forms of violence and threats within the community extremely seriously, and anyone found making threats or using force against anyone else in Custos is excluded from the community.
“You say that you are an “Intentional Community” AND a “dating club”, so even if you try to protect women within the community these poor women are clearly subjected to abuse once they travel back home with their new predatory man!”
We truly love and value every woman who joins the Custos community, and we do everything we can to protect them from abusive men, even after they leave the Custos Castle with a newfound Man.
We have regular follow ups and various forms of protection mechanisms in place for women after they have found a Man and left Custos to go and live with him.
We think you should be equally or more concerned about educating the millions of your “fellow sisters” who end up going home with unknown (and often predatory) men from a nightclub every night, or meet on Tinder.
Custos is a far safer environment than Tinder or a nightclub, and women have a much better chance to truly evaluate the men they meet face-to-face over several days than after a drunken night in a night club, or a after seeing a few pictures on Tinder!
“I don’t think it’s right for men to have women “who submit to them”, this is abuse and it should be stopped!!”
We understand that “male leadership and dominance” in a relationship is not your cup of tea, and that is ok.
However, there is no abuse, coersion or manipulation going on here, and all women in Custos are here voluntarily because they want to be.
Yes, in Custos most if not all relationships are led by men, and yes in some aspects these men DO control parts of their women’s lives, but this is always consensual and voluntary.
There are literally hundreds of millions, or maybe even billions of women who are being controlled by men against their will!
Why not focus on trying to help these women instead?
Custos is probably the ONLY patriarchal society in the world where EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who takes part does so voluntarily!
Why not try to help those women who are being FORCED to live under “patriarchy” against their will instead?
Perhaps we can suggest to start with some of the stricter Islamic countries, where women are controlled from birth to death by men…very often against their will.
“Ok, so Custos is basically a “kink BDSM club” where you practise male dominance in a big castle?”
No, not at all, (although yes, we do operate from a a big castle! 🙂)
There are many BDSM clubs, but Custos is not one of them. In fact “sex” is a relatively small part of our lives here in Custos.
Male leadership and dominance is about so much more than sex. It is about finding and living a normal healthy life in a relationship with someone you love and respect, and where the Man is in charge and make most day-to-day decisions.
The woman is there to serve her Man and support and help him, so that he can be the best Man possible, in every area of life. It is very much a team effort.
Naturally there is also a sexual aspect to most relationships, and yes it would be quite normal for the woman in such a relationship to submit to and serve her Man sexually also, but as a community Custos is about so much more than sex.
“You pay submissive women to come and live in a castle and then men come over to have sex with them, basically a BDSM brothel?”
No, not at all.
Sex in Custos is something sacred and valued, a bit like in a traditional relationship where the couple wait to have sex until after they are married.
In fact, Custos women are forbidden to have sex with any Man until they have entered into a formal “Level 3 Relationship” with him.
Should they choose to do so anyway, (or lie about it after the fact), both the woman and the Man risk permanent exclusion from the Custos community.
“Ok this is getting even worse, now you are saying that women are PROHIBITED from having sex!!”
Yes, that is correct.
Both men and women who want to join Custos have to sign a voluntary agreement with our rules and laws. They enter into a contract with the community, which in part regulates what they can and can not do sexually.
This is for several reasons, but mainly to preserve women’s purity and innocence for the Man that eventually claims a Custos woman as “his woman”.
Not only that, but all sexual acts in Custos are also anonymously recorded by both parties in our unique “Custos Consent App”.
For women this record includes all previous sexual encounters in their lives prior to joining Custos, (these are revealed during the application process and with the use of lie detector equipment during the in-depth interview process women go through before joining).
“This is crazy, how can you record all sexual acts in an app, and isn’t this a huge privacy intrusion, especially for a group that claims to care about privacy!?”
Yes and no.
1. All sexual encounters are recorded by the couples themselves, not by us. However, NOT recording a sexual encounter and being found out comes with a huge risk, (mainly in the form of a potential exclusion from the community).
2. All sexual encounters are anonymously recorded, and the information about who has had sex with whom can normally only be accessed by the participants themselves.
3. In regards to this being a privacy violation I guess we can see your viewpoint here. However, this is something you agree to before joining Custos and if you don’t agree with this you simply wouldn’t join.
It is to make sure there is complete transparency of everyone’s sexual history, and for everyones benefit that we do this.
“If it is anonymous and the information can only be accessed by the people involved, then what is the benefit of this “Consent App”?”
Well there are many benefits, but here are a few:
1. When in the beginning of a new relationship outside Custos a Man may ask how many sexual partners a woman has had and her sexual history, but when she answers he can never be quite sure if she is telling the truth or not.
This does not happens in Custos…
In all new relationships it is expected that both the Man and the woman ask to see each other’s “Consent App”.
When you ask to see a woman’s consent app in Custos you can be pretty sure that it is accurate.
The Custos Recruitment Team (CRT) go to great lengths to investigate the sexual history of any woman who wishes to join Custos. We use various methods, (including lie detector tests), to make sure that we get to the truth.
After a woman has been accepted into the Custos community she has far too much to lose to hide any sexual encounter she has by not recording it in the Consent App.
If she does try to hide an encounter she risks immediate exclusion from the community and the loss of her many benefits and priviliges.
If the Man tries to convince a woman to hide a sexual encounter, or does not record his own encounter in the Consent App, he runs the same risk. For a Man this can result in a serious financial loss, as well as a total loss of all access to the Custos community and the wonderful women here.
For these reasons and others, a Man can be pretty sure that when he goes on a date in Custos he will have a detailed understanding of the sexual and relationship history of the woman he is dating.
2. A woman’s SMV (sexual market value) is determined by many things. One of those is her sexual history.
Inside the Custos Castle a Man can get a pretty good overview of a woman’s sexual history simply by looking at her rank in the Custos Hierarchical Rank System (CHRS), which she normally displays openly in the community. This is because part of her CHRS is based on her sexual history and her sexual market value, but not all of it.
It IS possible for women with a larger number of previous sexual partners to rank high in the CHRS, but if they do they usually have other amazing qualities that counter balance her previous sexual promiscuity.
If you want to know the exact number of sexual partners a woman has had and her exact history, you will need to “signal interest”, (more about “signalling interest” in our FAQ for people who are considering joining Custos), then take her on a date and ask her to show you her Consent App. 🙂
3. Having sex with a woman in Custos without both parties first recording it in the Consent App, (which also records how far the woman is willing to go on this particular encounter), comes with great risks for the Man.
The Consent App is one of the main tools used in Custos to make sure that there is no rape or sexual abuse taking place. Having sex with a woman in Custos without first having recorded it in the Consent App means that as a Man you have truly opened yourself up to a rape or sexual abuse allegation AND conviction!
If you have sex with a woman without both of you first recording her consent in the Consent App, and she later says that it was not consensual means that we will treat it as rape/sexual abuse. Not only does this mean you will you be permanently excluded from the community, but we will also support the woman and report you to the relevant authorities for prosecution.
However, this works both ways…
If a woman has indeed consented through the Consent App and she later makes a complaint against you, it makes it very hard for her to make her case. This is quite a common occurrence in the outside world, but it would be something exceptionally rare for a false accusation to be made in Custos, simply due to the nature, quality and personalities of the Custos women.
There are also several built in protection mechanisms in the Consent App that makes it very hard for a Man, (or anyone) to force a woman to consent through the app, so if her Consent is given in the app it is usually treated as real “consent”.
There are many women in Custos who could be described as “vulnerable”, not because they are “weak” or “stupid” but because they has such respect for men that it is very natural for them to obey when a Man asks for something.
It is our job to protect these women from any abusive men who might slip through the cracks and become members of Custos, should this happen. We do this in various ways, and one of them is the Consent App.
4. All women in Custos are extensively tested, (more than once) for sexually transmitted diseases before they arrive in Custos. Women are also tested after each sexual encounter they have had unless they remain in a Level 3 relationship with a Man, or higher.
These tests and the results are all recorded in the Consent App, which means that you can be nearly 100% certain that any woman that you have sexual relations with in Custos is healthy and free from any serious disease.
These are just a few of the many benefits of the unique Custos Consent App. 🙂
“Doesn’t this “Consent App” ruin all spontaneity? Who wants to be recording things on an app just before having sex!?”
Well some people may feel that way, but we don’t, and even if it did it is worth that slight inconvenience to protect both men and women in the comnunity, and to ensure transparency in regards to sexual history in the community. This is important since sexual encounters also have a large effect on other important things such as a woman’s Custos Hierarchical Rank System score (CHRC).
To record consent for an encounter in the Consent App literally takes less than 15 seconds for both parties, so it is extremely quick and easy to do.
There are several security features built into the app that stops anyone else from recording consent in someone else’s Consent App. There are also security procedures for women in the rare even that there was some form of coercion or threats being used when she is recording her consent to an encounter.
“Even if it’s quick to record consent on this Consent App I still think it will completely ruin the mojo to have to record consent in this way during a sexual encounter.”
Well if you haven’t tried it you don’t really know, do you? 🙂 But we understand your point.
However, let us point out a few things that are important for you to understand:
1. In Custos we don’t believe that casual sex with multiple (unknown or not well known) partners is healthy, either for the people involved or for the community as a whole.
We believe that sex is something sacred and valued that should generally be had between two consenting adults that are somewhat committed to each other, (level 3 and above). In fact whilst you are in Custos we insist on it, as it is one of our laws.
Being “committed” doesn’t mean that you have to stay together for life, get married or anything like that. But at the very least you have met on a couple of occasions and you both believe that there is a connection there that is beyond just a sexual encounter and release.
2. Please remember that every time a woman has sex with a Man who dumps her afterwards both her SMV (sexual market value) and her Custos Hierarchical Rank Score (CHRS) drops.
This happens in Custos as well as the outside world, with the only difference that women in the outside world generally both can and will lie about their sexual encounters, and thereby “faking” their real SMV.
High quality men generally want to commit to women who have had few sexual partners, for many different reasons, and each time a Man uses a Custos woman as a “pump and dump” he lowers her value to other men.
The Custos Recruitment Team (CRT) invests significant time, effort and money into finding women that are both suitable for and wanting to join the Custos community. Therefore it is costly for the community as whole when our women are used sexually in this way, and their value for everyone is lowered.
How much a woman’s value drops during a “pump and dump” sexual encounter is largely determined by her sexual history previous to the encounter with this particular Man, and also on the Man himself and his CHRS.
A woman who has had sexual encounters with only 2 previous men will see a bigger relative drop in value from an encounter with a new 3rd Man (at least if the encounter doesn’t end up in a relationship) than a woman who has already had sexual encounters with 19 different men.
The same is true for men. A Man who has sex with multiple women in Custos but doesn’t commit to anyone will find his own CHRS drop over time, and thereby other women’s attraction to him will drop as well.
Men’s score drop less from a casual sexual encounter than women’s, and there are also ways for men to boost their CHRS score that generally aren’t available to women, but nevertheless sex should be treated as the precious thing it is.
3. More than anything Custos should be viewed as a totally unique place for elite Men to meet submissive women who have been pre-screened in a multitude of ways.
These women are true “unicorns” in the Western world, (and very rare even in other parts of the world as well).
Custos women have grace, poise, gratitude and other rare and beautiful qualities, as well as a deep desire to serve a Dominant Man in every way possible, and to help and support him so he can become everything he can be in life.
THAT is what Custos is about!
Finding that one woman who is truly the 1 in a million.
A woman who has not been corrupted by the feminist agenda, and to one day take her home from Custos to your own country, and perhaps spend the rest of your life with her.
Custos is NOT for brief sexual encounters with large numbers of women. Fly to a brothel in Germany for that, or hire a luxury escort.
You should view Custos more as a unique amd exclusive “dating island” with some exceptional women that are waiting and longing for you, rather than an island purely to satisfy your sexual desires.
Once you have found the right woman for you, then you will have a lifetime of amazing sexual pleasure with someone who loves nothing more than to give, and to see you happy and satisfied! 🙂
“Are you a cult?”
People tend to be concerned about three main things when they consider if something is a cult:
1. Being forced to believe in something (brainwashing).
2. Being coerced into staying in a situation that feels unsafe or unhealthy.
3. Being coerced into giving the cult their money.
None of these are true about Custos.
We do not share or require common religious or spiritual beliefs, and members are not in fact required to believe anything at all.
All we ask is that members agree to abide by the Custos Membership Agreement and the Custos Confidentiality Agreement, all of which are behavior based, not belief based.
Most men and women in Custos do share similar values and beliefs, but again these are generally more philosophical and behaviour based than spiritual or religious.
Membership in the Custos Community is completely voluntary; for both men and women, and people are free to leave at any time for any reason.
No one is ever forced or coerced into staying, but all members ARE required to abide by the Custos Membership Agreement at all times whilst in the community. In addition members are bound by the Custos Confidenialty Agreement for 5 years after the date of their departure from the community.
Finally, members are not asked or required to give all their money to the Custos Foundation.
Male Custos members do pay to join the community, and some of these payments are substantial, depending on the CHRS rank that a member wishes to join at. However, these fees are clearly defined beforehand, and new members have a long refund period should they change their mind after joining.
Most women in Custos pay no fees at all to join, and most women have all their costs paid by the community, and are also given a monthly allowance whilst living in Custos.
“How do you find these “submissive women” that want to join your community?”
In several different ways.
1. We run a lot of adverts in countries all over the world where feminism hasn’t yet taken hold in the same way it has in most of the Western world. These ads are targeted at women looking for a job abroad or a new life.
Once a woman shows interest in one of our ads she is sent through a filtering process where our semi automatic survey software sorts out the vast majority of women, who are neither suitable or likely to be interested in Custos.
From every 100 or so applicant who has shown interest there are usually less than a handful that COULD potentially be interested in joining the community.
These women are then sent through to the first stage of the Custos application process, and are once again filtered along the way as we find out more about them.
The few that are still both highly motivated AND interested are then sent through to phsycological evaluation and many other tests to see if they might be suitable. At the end of that process we start interviews with all candidates, at first through Skype and for those that pass later on in person.
It is a long and tedious process that usually involves going through hundreds of candidates to find a single woman who has both the right mindset, AND the commitment that we are looking for in the women who want to join Custos. This is what the Custos Recruitment Team do each and every day, and they are very good at it.
2. We also have submissive women who heard about us somewhere contact us directly.
These are most commonly women who’s main interest is to be dominated sexually by a Man, but not necessarily in other areas of their lives.
Some of these women have a genuine interest in more than just sexual domination, and they then progress through the normal Custos application process to see if they are suitable candidates.
You should go and have fun!